Today morning someone’s attitude moved me badly, I felt that I have been backstabbed. I didn’t knew whom I should share this with, as I don’t want to prolong this topic. However I thought of dealing with the situation maturely. And matured ways always emphasize on communication, I too believe that communication is the key in any relationship be it marriage, parenting or friendship. There is no issue in this world that cannot be resolved if discussed by both parties with open heart and mind. However if any of this is missing then this communication will turn into an argument and situation can go worse.
From last 6 years I am living away from my family, and friends are only my second family here. I am not very quick in making friends, but when I make I try to keep them for lifetime. With friends we feel comfortable, we consider them as our siblings and we feel that we can share things with them which we cannot with our family. Sometimes it can be a secret or sometimes it can be general talk, but every time I am pouring my heart out in front of them. I don’t think I need to specify it to them every time that Please don’t share this with others, a friend should be able to understand the intensity of the matter and decided on their own about sharing what I shared about me with them.
I have this habit of not sharing one friend’s secrets with another, whether he/she specified it to be a secret or not. I don’t like to be a communication channel between two people, all my friends are grown enough to face each other and talk on their own. If you feel sharing what friend A talked to you with friend B is not making you a backstabber then I think you are wrong. By dictionary backstabbing means “The action or practice of criticizing someone in a treacherous manner while feigning friendship”. I shared my feeling with you or my plans with you and you went and told the same to someone else because I did not mention that “please don’t tell anyone” in the beginning of the conversation. May be I did not wanted that person to know this or I wanted to tell them later on my own, in any case you have been unfaithful to me while being my friend, so you backstabbed me.
I know, most you may feel that friends can talk and sortout such small things. I agree to it 100%, but only till it happens for the first time. When it happens several times then I feel there is no use to talk to such people and I prefer maintaining distance from them.
Someone may say “Oh that happened by mistake. He/she is very good at heart but little absent minded or he/she has childish nature” then I am not interested in being friends with absent minded or childish people. I would prefer saying goodbye than being a source of juicy topics for them.
And you the Backstabber stop this attitude of yours. Because I am leaving you without saying a word, but may be someone else will bring life out of you for doing the same with them.
4 comments:
i don't think any one likes backstabbers but that is how it is. Whether one admit or not but more than half of the JUNTA are backstabbers.
Thats True Prasoon....
Read this quite late...All I need to say is that I completely agree with your view...Love u a lot for penning the feeling of hurt....It teaches to 'Forgive & forget'...Backstabbers are required to teach us lots of lessons...We learnt the lessons & in a way it helps us to face further challenges; life has to throw on us...So I welcome the backstabbers to enter in my Life at your own risk....
very true Pallavi.... but at times its hard to forget and forgive atleast for me :)
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