Life Happens

In the summers of late 1980’s the first born boy of a well know north Indian Brahmin family got hitched to a beautiful first born girl of another well-known Brahmin Family. Summer was on its peak and so was their love and then after 9 months Life Happened and yours truly came into this world J

From childhood, I have been trained that I need to take the legacy of the first born to next level and show all the younger ones how to lead life. Not just my own siblings, my first cousins, my second, third, fourth cousins, my neighborhood kids, I was supposed to be the role model for everyone. 4 year old kid and so much pressure to perform, I became a perfect obedient child any parent would want. But that also made me an introvert. Or should I say I had split personality disorder, because I was a super fun child in school but very serious and studious kid at home. I was doing good in studies and well in co-curricular activities, teacher’s pet and a perfect role model, life was going fine for everyone until my parents decide to add some spice in my life.

They made me, the not so sporty girl to go in NCC (National Cadet Core), and like the obedient girl I was, I joined it for them. First time I stayed away from home for a week. Homesick and socked as we used to sleep on floor and bath inside a tent in a jungle, I was counting days to go back home. And on the final day, I came to know that this camp was the selection camp for basic leadership camp and I am selected for next camp which means I must live here for 10 more days.  My uncle who used to live in that same city was there to meet me, I was crying to go back home and hence he called my mom. She heard me out and asked me to give the phone to my uncle and told him, make sure she stays there and does not run back home. I was stunned, did my parents disowned me? Will I always live in this jungle?

Now I had only one way to survive, I must like what is there in front of me, accept it and move on. Therefore, I gave my 100% in those 10 days in all the assignments and activities we got to do. I tried to make friends so that my stay becomes comfortable. Soon I stared to like this whole thing and an introvert started to open-up. Next year I took part in republic day camp and represented my state in national. Won the nationals in rifle shooting and 1^st runner up in best cadet nationwide. It was indeed a very proud moment for me and my family when I got to shake hands with our then prime minister Mr. Atal Bihari Bajpai. I returned home after 2 months as a very confident teenager, and that’s where life happened.

However, soon after that I had my boards and being the first born I had to do very well there, you see role model. And as an obedient kid from middle class Indian family, I went for engineering and became one J

Years flew, campus was done, I had a job offer in my hand, but patents decided to give a new twist in the tale. They wanted me to stay back home and look for some opportunity in my hometown, as they were worried how I will live alone in a big city. And I was shocked, are they not the same people who made sure I don’t come back home from that jungle. But I decided to do things my way this time and came to Bangalore. And life happened when parents saw me not just surviving in a new city alone but also living happily and doing well at work.

Years passed and now parents had an-other thing in their “TO DO list” which they were eager to tick out and hence started looking for alliance for me. In the search of same I met this snooty guy whom I hated in beginning and later fell for. Yes, life happened again to me in the most unexpected way and time.

By nature, Indians are very caring people. We care about what’s happening in other’s life more than what’s going on in our own. Hence now it was time for me to prove to the society that my reproductive system is working fine. On first day of my maternity break I was feeling so bored, I though let me go to a parlor and waste my hared earned money. Due date was still 15 days away but as expected, life happens to me when I expect it the least. I was rushed from a massage room to the labor room. And the most beautiful part of my life I lived that day amid all the madness which was going around.

Even now after all these years, the pressure of being the role model and perfect first born is still there. But the intensity has reduced over time. Now whenever I get to talk to my younger cousins, or colleagues and friends. I tell them that don’t be like anyone else, just be what you are. because you cannot control life you can only live life. And the most magical moments of your life will happen when you expect it the least. Moments which will change your perspective and thinking and make you a better and happier version of yourself. So you just keep living and let the life happen!

PS: This write-up was my Ice breaker speech in Toastmasters 

Education is the key to success

Every day when I travel to work I see lots of construction work going on in the city. Labors who work there stay at the construction site itself in small tents or in some temporary accommodation made there. They cook on sides of road while their small kids play in mud with stones. They work under hot sun, in middle of all the dust and noise for 10-12 hours every day, whereas I am comfortably working in AC and making 3-4 times more than them every day. We both are working hard, but still there is a difference. And when I think about the cause of this difference, answer is very clear. It is Education which is making all the difference here. I feel extremely lucky that I was born in a family where the importance of education was known. I feel fortunate to get better education which gave me a better lifestyle.

In lower middle class and poor families mostly education is considered as financial burden. They feel if the kid works in place of going to school that will help the family financially. They only think of the immediate needs, and do not understand the power of education in long term. That is why they don’t send their kids to school, instead ask them to work. Sometimes if they are interested in their kid’s education still they are not able to provide them good education due to financial issues. There are thousands of government run schools which are meant to give free basic education to all the kids, but most of them are not running the way they are supposed to. Teachers are not coming to take classes; there are no books or stationary provided. Government has done their job half by opening schools but making sure that they run properly and families are motivated to send kids to school is yet to be done.  

There are some schemes run by center and state governments to motivate people to send their kids to schools. There are many scholarships and other arrangements to motivate good students, but many times this information is not passed properly till the grass root level. However we cannot leave all the responsibility on government and just sit and crib about problems. Being the fortunate one it is our duty and responsibility to create awareness for education. We can start it from our home by motivating our house help to send his/her kids to school. We can help them financially or can get them introduced to some NGO which will help them and guild them throughout.

Education makes one independent and independence brings freedom and equality. For better future of our country Education is the area we all have to work on. Education is the key to success for individual and for the nation.

PS: I also strongly advocate girl child’s education. It is very important and is the first step towards the women empowerment we keep talking about.

PSS: This post is written for the “ISB iDiya Blogging Contest” on Indiblogger.

image courtesy Google

Two Minutes

This post has been published by me as a part of the Blog-a-Ton 29; the 29th Edition of the online marathon of Bloggers; where we decide and we write. To be part of the next edition, visit and start following Blog-a-Ton. The topic for this month is 'TWO MINUTES'.

“Ok guys, I should leave now.” Samir got up from his place. Rohan stood to stop him “Wait buddy, don’t be a spoilsport.”. Samir picketed up his bag “I am sorry guys but, I promised my mom that I will be home by 10 pm. Dad is also out of station, you know.” He tried to explain. “Chill dude, its just 8.30 now.” Vinit showed him the watch. “But after 9.30 I won’t get any bus guys, that is why I have to leave now.” Samir tried explaining. “Ok Samir, chill. I will drop you home, I got dad’s car with me. Now you can stay right?”Rohan interrupted. Samir shook his hand in air and sat back.

It was Vinit’s treat for getting 89% marks in pre boards of 10+2. He was an average student, but Samir took the responsibility of helping his friend through his preparation for exam and the end result was amazing. Vinit’s mom dad was out of station so these friends planned a party to celebrate the occasion. 

They were in between their usual conversation when the doorbell rang, it was Himanshu. “Hi guys what’s up?” He hugged Rohan and Samir. “I knew you guys must me having a boring party without me. See what I got for you.” Himanshu opened his bag to bring out the vodka bottles. “Wow, First time I am holding a vodka bottle in my hand” Rohan took a bottle. “Guys, we were here to have fun not boozing.”Samir objected. Himanshu tapped Samir’s back “Relax Samir, it will add more fun. Loosen up yourself” he laughed.

It was 9.30 now and more than half of the vodka bottle was empty. Samir did not drink, as he had to go back home. “Ok guys, its time. I am leaving now. Else I will miss my last bus.”Samir picked up his bag. “Hey Samir, my friend! I told you that I will drop you. Then why are you rushing?” Rohan stopped him. “You are drunk Rohan. You can’t drive like this.”Samir said. “Don’t worry Samir, I will drive” Himanshu said “I do this often. I can drive.” He boasted his capability to drink and stay conscious.

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Samir’s mother and sister rushed to the hospital where Samir was admitted. They ran to the emergency ward, but could not find Samir. They saw one inspector “Hello Sir, I am Samir’s Mother. I think you only called me and informed about Samir. Where is my Son, Inspector?” Samir’s mom inquired. Inspector answred “Right Mrs. Verma, we only informed you.” He continued “Actually, Samir met with an accident and died on the spot.” Samir’s mother went numb out of shock. His sister asked “But how did that happen, Samir just went to his friend’s place. And he was supposed to be back by 10.” 

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Clock was showing 10 now, and Samir was getting impatient “What is this guys, it’s already 10. Himanshu, you promised me that you will drop me home. Let’s go dude.” “Samir, why don’t you stay at my place tonight, and leave tomorrow early morning.”Vinit Suggested. But Samir was not ready for that “Dude, you know how strict my mom is. She won’t like it. I have to go”.

In next 10 minutes, all 4 friends were in Rohan’s car, driving towards Samir’s house. “Hey Himanshu, your driving is super cool man. I feel as if the car is flying” Rohan was fully drunk now. They all laughed on Rohan’s statement. After few minutes Rohan asked Himanshu to stop the car. “Dude, I Want to drive now” Rohan said. “No Rohan, you are drunk. Himanshu is driving well. Let him drive.” Vinit stopped him. “I want to try man, just for two minutes. If I am not driving well, then Himanshu can continue. Okey?” Rohan Requested. “Why should we take risk Rohan.”Samir argued. “This is my car, and I will drive it. Stop it now.”Rohan Shouted. Himanshu stopped the car and gave keys to Rohan, Samir was sitting next too driver’s seat and he was not happy with this decision. But he kept quite as indicated by vinit and Himanshu. 

Rohan took the driver’s seat for just two minutes but that two minutes drive became the last drive for Samir. Just after few meters Rohan lost control on the steering and hit the car with a truck. 

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Rohan, Himanshu and Vinit also got badly injured. That two minutes became the life changing two minutes for these four kids and their families. Samir lost his life, whereas Rohan, Himanshu and Vinit were forced to live a life full of guilt. Two Minutes which seemed so small, had it's effect for life long.

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The Article

I cleaned the kitchen and came back with a magazine on my bed. This was my favorite magazine from years, before I used to finish reading all the articles in just 1 day. But after having my baby, I don’t get time for reading. Vivan (my son) was taking his afternoon nap and all my housework was done, so it was the best time to read the magazine.

I started reading the first article when the doorbell rang. Who can come at this time, I wondered and quickly walked towards the door, as I didn’t wanted the bell to ring again and disturb Vivan’s sleep. I looked through the peep hole, and there was a woman. She must be some saleswoman; I said “We don’t want to buy anything. You can go”. No sound came from other side. I turned back to go to the bedroom, when doorbell rang again. I ran to open the door and scolded her “Don’t you understand when I ask you to leave.” She gave me angry look but left without saying a word. I closed the door and came back in room. Vivan was still asleep; I took a sigh of relief.

“Let’s go back to the article” I sat on the bed with the magazine. It was hardly 10 minutes and the phone rang. I told my husband hundred times to get the landline disconnected. As we both have mobile phones, I don’t see any point in keeping this headache with us. I walked to the hall and picked up the call. “Hello Aunty, can you give the phone to Kunal.” voice came from the other side of the receiver. From which angle I look like an aunty, I rolled my eyes and said “You have dilled a wrong number, this is not Kunal’s house”. I was about to hangup, when that guy said “But Aunty, this is the number Kunal gave to me. I am not dialing wrong number.” By now I was irritated “listen, I am telling you again, this is not Kunal’s house. And I am not your Aunty, Ok? Keep the phone now” I hung up.

1 hour passed like few minutes and it was time for my baby’s next meal. I went in the kitchen to make baby food. When Vivan woke up and started to cry, I switched off the gas and ran to see my baby.

A baby needs lots of care and tons of patience. Vivan took full 45-50 minutes to finish a small bowl of baby food. He messed up his cloths, so I got him changed and sat with him on floor with his toys scattered around him. Soon he got busy playing with his toys and I grabbed my magazine to finish the article I stared some 3 hours back. “Look at me, the girl who used to finish full magazine in one day is taking 3 hours to finish an article” I laughed at myself.

Just the last paragraph was remaining when my mobile rang, it was my husband. “Hi Saloni, Is Vivan awake?” He asked. “Yes he is. By the way how come you called at this time” I inquired. “Nothing special” he giggled and continued “Actually I want to have pakoda with sour mango chatnee. I will be home in next one hour. Will you please prepare it for me?” I smiled “For sure.” and hanged up.

“There is still an hour, let me finish my reading and then I will start cooking” I thought while arranging Vivan’s toys. The next moment I realized that there were no mangos at home to make chatnee. I picked up my hand bag, carried Vivan and went to the vegetable shop at the corner of our street.

After coming back to home, I rushed to the kitchen and stated preparing the pakodas. As promised, my Husband came home at 6. He loved the pakoda and chatnee I made for him. We had tea together, and then he sat to play with Vivan, I went to kitchen for dinner preparation.

After sometime my husband came in the kitchen with my magazine in his hand, and seeing the book mark on the first few pages he said “Saloni, this month’s issue of your magazine came 10 days back right. You are still at first article, not finding this magazine interesting like before?” Before I could say something, he walked out of kitchen saying “Fine, I will cancel the subscription.”