She is Human

As I said before, my idiot box makes my room lively. That only gives me company for dinner. Last week while having dinner I saw new daily soap on Sony entertainment television. This serial revolves around a girl, whose family is trying to arrange her marriage. The plot is very much similar to many other serials on air, but that one episode which I saw that night made me think over it.

In that episode, this girl and her family went to a restaurant to meet one prospective groom’s family. After staring at the girl for half an hour boy’s mom took her inside the restroom, as she wanted to check that the girl don’t have any mark on her body. That is embarrassing for any girl and so it was for her. Girl started crying, to which our prospective groom’s mom said “मैं तो आलू भी दस बार जाँच कर खरीदती हूँ | फिर ये तो मेरे बेटे की शादी का सवाल है |” (I even check potato ten times before buying, then this is the question my son's wedding) . And in next episode, boy’s mom took the girl to a gynaecologist for checking her fertility.

“What a piece of crap this is.” I said to myself after watching this. You may also feel the same. Some of you may ask, is this story from some other era. To our surprise, this story is of this era only, and in many small towns in India this is how girls are made to give tests for getting married.

No need to go too far, I know a real life example for the same. This is what happened with one of my friend, when she went to meet the prospective groom’s mom and dad with her family. The guy’s father made her read a book loudly, for checking her reading skills. Damn! She is working with one of India’s largest IT firm, how you can doubt on her reading skills. That was not all. Guy’s mom gave my friend a booklet and asked her to read the digits written on it. To my surprise, that booklet was for color blindness check. I felt so sorry for my friend when I heard this incident. I wonder, this lady wants a life-partner for her son or she is looking for a pilot for their private jet. This was really embarrassing. I must say my friend behaved very patiently, whereas I would have left the place then and there if these tests were conducted over me.

I understand very well that marriage is a lifelong bond. In arranged marriage we cannot trust any stranger that easily, so we check things through our known people. In current time when cheating and fraud rates are so high, it is difficult to believe anyone. Still, this kind of checking is insulting. Because she is a girl, that does not give anyone the authority to treat her like vegetables.

What if the girl’s family also want to know guy’s fertility, make him walk to check that his legs are alright or not, or if they ask the guy to give color blindness test. It will be insulting for him too. He may raise his voice or will reject the girl, as her parents treated him badly. Then why don’t the girls raise their voice against this inhuman behavior and insult.

Time is changing, females are financially independent now. But still they are silently accepting all this insult, as in Indian society from childhood girls are trained to accept such insults and adjust in any situation.

Marriage is the bond of trust. If we don’t trust people and keep checking them, it gives them the feeling of distrust and makes the bond weaker in the beginning itself. We need to trust people to get trusted in return. I would request all the prospective groom’s families, that check things and satisfy yourself as it is the biggest decision in life, but don’t hurt others ego and confidence. You are not in a vegetable market shopping for potato or onion. You are dealing with a girl. Treat her with humanity, as she is also a human.

Rest Room GupShup

Past one month kept me very busy. I had lots of work in office and I was suppose to study for my exams too, that was the only reason I had no updates on my blog from last one month. But during this one month I came across many things which I want to share with you all, I will be doing that pretty soon.

During my busy days in office there was one place which gave me rest and quick break from staring at the PC, and that place was the RESTROOM. So I thought why not dedicate this post on the restrooms, which always give us rest and peace.

Now those days are gone, when public toilets used to be a place we visit only when we really need it and leave it as soon as possible. Now we have public toilets which are popularly known as restroom. They are far cleaner and smell fresh like a flower shop.

The ladies restroom in my office is a place which is very neat, smells fresh and is spacious. When you have to talk something personal over the cell phone and don’t want your cube mate to hear, the best place to head to be the restroom.

In my previous organization our office timings were quite odd. Office in-time was morning 7:30. That was real early morning and for sure when it takes you an hour to reach office, you won’t get any time at home to get ready properly. During those difficult times the only escape was the restroom :)
Ladies with a mini cosmetic shop in their handbag, used to head to restroom directly after swiping their ID card. And the scene inside the restroom was same like a wedding house. Where all the ladies want to get ready first, before the groom arrives. Everyone used to try to get place in front of the mirror. I used to comb my hair and observe the dexterity with which few ladies apply lipstick and eyeliner and used to instruct their home maid over the phone at the same time. All the clumsy looking souls use to come out of restroom in tip-top condition. This was impossible if the restroom was not there.

Many times we meet most of our colleagues in restrooms only, and get a chance to catch on each other’s work and life. That is the common place for people from all teams. That’s the place which is free from access control and treats everyone equally.

Even in the malls we can find very interesting conversations and sometimes critical movie reviews inside the rest room. Talks about new fashion, quick recipe or about some actor or art, all kind of time-pass masala you can find in the restroom. And for a girl like me, who like to observe people, this is a nice time pass.

You believe it or not, when I joined my current organization, one friend of mine asked me how big are the female restrooms in my office, before asking my new package. That’s the importance restrooms have in our life :P. Restrooms always give rest to our tired mind and body. I am really thankful to the modern concept of neat, clean, spacious public toilets. And I will take this as an opportunity to thank all the facility employees who keep the restrooms neat & fresh. Who take care of all the mess created by us and make our restroom short-trips smell great :)